Sunday, June 21, 2009
this feels like a dream.
if it was a dream, i wished that i'll not wake up from it ((:
woke up in the morning and realised that i overslept :S supposed to meet chinyang, anand and the rest at kallang to go to ecp to run in the morn. oops. i guess i need that few more hours of sleep after a long talk with rainbow last night.
the interesting thing, after i woke up, i felt like i was a whole new person. i felt so refreshed, like a load of burden off my shoulders. indeed God answers prayers. days before i've been praying that God will remove whatever fears i have in me, and the things i was troubled about. eventually, God led me back to this word, " contentment " looking back, i had whatever i don't deserve in my hands. Especially those who have shown me their unconditional love and always there in good times and bad times. having a place to stay without having expected for things in return is just so wonderful, and having such a loving father at home is something i never imagined that i can ever have (:
happy fathers' day to ahpa and daddy. guess i shld make a card and send it over to him. wonder what his response wld be like (: but i can always try. maybe things between might get better.
to daddy: thanks for all you've done for me. be it some thing great or small, i remembered them all. thanks for leaving me with such wonderful memories of us going to macdonalds every sunday morning for breakfast and going to the arcade with korkor in marina square. though all of it may seemed short or long-forgotten, in the end, they are still the ones that will be kept closely to the heart <3 i love you.
after reading rainbow's blog these couple of days. i realised that sometimes things arent as simple as it seemed to be. and i never seemed to understand it till today.
many a times, we thought we understood something or someone. but the question is, did we really think deep enough of what others are going through? i guess we all know the answer.
what struck me most was the word " balance " in the post. " balance " is what we all seek to achieve. even though we will never seemed to be able to reach it but at least we can try working close to it. just as i thought about me trying to balance schoolwork, life on my own, friends, running, often times i feel that there's so many things to do but so lil time ---> unlimited wants and limited time. what i learnt is that things could be better if one really take a step back to think of what another person is going through. saying that " I know, I understand" is not gonna help. cos the fact is i don't really understand and really mean what i say. yesterday, i was feeling so much pain in my heart, cos i had that unwanted feeling again, at the same time, i was trying to accept the things i can't change. but today, i realised that i don't have to cos, what is this pain compared to what He bore for us on the cross and have I understood the pain He had went through. and why do I have to feel unwanted when i have the love i needed all along. it was in my hands, but i've failed to see it.
to rainbow:
applying this to whatever that has happened. i believe that i really do understand what you're going through now. really. i know it hasn't been easy for ya. dont give up ((: