Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Lord as i seek Your guidance for the day
i find my thoughts unyielding, confusion crowds my way
but then when i bow to You
the challenges You guide me through
Your promises are ever new
i claim them for today.
yvonne finally decided to blog. thought that by not talking about things happening now will help me not to think about it, but He just showed me how weak and helpless i am when i try doing things by my own strength. i realised that trying to be positive about things and putting our faith in Him for all things to work out are two different things.
i was really glad that mom was getting better each time i visited her, and each time, my hope for her to recover increased as i make my way there to see her... but after i visited her yesterday, things didn't appear to be what i thought. i wondered, "its been ten years... Lord, how long do i have to wait? I'm really tired. What should i do now?" For awhile, i realised that there's nothing i can do at all. even when she said, "我在等你长大, 我真的在等你长大.", but at that very moment i knew 即使我长大,我能为她做的只有那么多. I told myself, cuiwen ni xing de, after which i started studying all day as i remembered what she said to me. but after studying i find myself really tired and found it hard to carry on...
today God really showed me that He is there when all else fails. my heart was so empty till i decided to seek Him in this matter. He hears and answers even its a simple prayer. all along i know, He knows my heart even before the words were uttered, but He's waiting for me to ask Him for guidance!(: am glad that He never let me go through it all.. :D wo bu zhi yao jia you, but also continue to rest on His promises each day.